I have done Being a man post long ago
And had thought about doing this post soon after..But somehow it didn't happen..Majorily for the reason that
women are too versatile to be taken up completely under a single post..And so I never got arund to it..But off late there have been so many things happening arund.., things that I have gone through myself..things that my friends are going through and it doesnot make any sense..Or i it only me..??And opposed t the funny man, this Woman is pretty serious..
There are couple of my female friends including me who have apparently turned into "marriageable age" according to the parents..The girls including me believe otherwise..They are pretty happy with their single status and no-responsibility-for-a-while-life..Quite visibly the parents and daughters are of different opinion here..But what completely evades my sane mind is why the parents choice to convince their daughter of their own opinion in almost abhorring way..And no I am not talking of some remote village , but about parents who always instilled confidence in their daughters that they were no less than a boy, had every right to good education, were bought up to be smart, confidence.And suddenly these parents wonder about the fate of their girls if they were not married at ripe age..What would Society say??? "kya kahenge log"?? They purposefully make her believe that she is indeed a burden on their shoulders until she goes off to her maritial home bcoz 21+ is a valid age ..in our country to get married..:( and who Am I???? to question like this..??
Do the girls have no choice of their own at all..??She can do everything like a boy and still be a responsibility..??I some times wonder how a stranger is ever going to treat your daughter as an equal when you so visibly donot..???
I have another couple of my friends that have that someone special in their lives but are finding it difficult to convince their parents of their own..Now again I wont start with a debate on ARRANGE VERSUS LOVE MARRIAGE As things work different for different people..But what I clearly find distasteful is the way the parents want to stick to conventional way of Arrange marriages wherein they are made to act like ladkiwaala whose sole job is to appease ladkewala's demands..The girls of ur generatin has been brought up with a mindset of boy-girl equality and no dowry policy..After all appeasing the groom's family is the norm?? is nt??
Are you really desperate to get your girl off your back that you are ready to pay any amount of money ang goodies to stranger to make way for her into their homes and lives..?
I feel sorry for girls who have been relegated to such behaviours..but i feel worst when I see parents doing it to their "love you till death" "ghar ki izzat" daughters..I know we have come far from those days when girls were not allowed to study nor do anything of their on-free will..But it is really worrying to see parents who let their daughters go so far and suddenly want to go all traditional when it comes to marriage and even expect the daughters to do a complete U-turn from their beliefs and conform to whims and fancies of a stranger and his family..
It would be understatement if I would say A women's life is tough!! It was perhaps my naivety that I thought that girls were mented out an equal treatment in today's world..Have you ever imagined what a girl would feel like when she is made to believe that she is only the responsibility to her parents..??? Yes I have felt that feeling..:'( :'( And when she does get married , she is always the outsider in a husband's family..Is there nobody she can actually call her own..?????????? Somebody who would love her for her person and not just doll her up so that it would be easy to get rid of her , the burden that she is..?? For no reason they say "charity begins at home"
More than anger, I feel frustated, extremely saddened And lonely today!!
And perhaps that the reason why some people feel sad at birth of a daughter..Because they understand apart from fighting the demons of eve teasing , she will also have to face the trauma of being a burden on either her family or her husband..and she still feels she belongs to none in this world..
QUOTING a few lines from one of my favourite book "gone with wind"gifted by M that sum up what I feel about woman's life and apparently my own life..
"Her life was not easy, nor was she happy, but she didnot expect life to be easy and if it was not happy , that was a woman's lot..It was a man's world and she accepted it as much..The man owned the property and she managed it..The man took credit for the management and the woman praised his cleverness..The man roared like a bull when splinter was in his finger , and the woman muffled the moans of childbirth, lest she disturb him..Men were rude and outspoken, women were always kind, gracious and forgiving
And had thought about doing this post soon after..But somehow it didn't happen..Majorily for the reason that
women are too versatile to be taken up completely under a single post..And so I never got arund to it..But off late there have been so many things happening arund.., things that I have gone through myself..things that my friends are going through and it doesnot make any sense..Or i it only me..??And opposed t the funny man, this Woman is pretty serious..
There are couple of my female friends including me who have apparently turned into "marriageable age" according to the parents..The girls including me believe otherwise..They are pretty happy with their single status and no-responsibility-for-a-while-life..Quite visibly the parents and daughters are of different opinion here..But what completely evades my sane mind is why the parents choice to convince their daughter of their own opinion in almost abhorring way..And no I am not talking of some remote village , but about parents who always instilled confidence in their daughters that they were no less than a boy, had every right to good education, were bought up to be smart, confidence.And suddenly these parents wonder about the fate of their girls if they were not married at ripe age..What would Society say??? "kya kahenge log"?? They purposefully make her believe that she is indeed a burden on their shoulders until she goes off to her maritial home bcoz 21+ is a valid age ..in our country to get married..:( and who Am I???? to question like this..??
Do the girls have no choice of their own at all..??She can do everything like a boy and still be a responsibility..??I some times wonder how a stranger is ever going to treat your daughter as an equal when you so visibly donot..???
I have another couple of my friends that have that someone special in their lives but are finding it difficult to convince their parents of their own..Now again I wont start with a debate on ARRANGE VERSUS LOVE MARRIAGE As things work different for different people..But what I clearly find distasteful is the way the parents want to stick to conventional way of Arrange marriages wherein they are made to act like ladkiwaala whose sole job is to appease ladkewala's demands..The girls of ur generatin has been brought up with a mindset of boy-girl equality and no dowry policy..After all appeasing the groom's family is the norm?? is nt??
Are you really desperate to get your girl off your back that you are ready to pay any amount of money ang goodies to stranger to make way for her into their homes and lives..?
I feel sorry for girls who have been relegated to such behaviours..but i feel worst when I see parents doing it to their "love you till death" "ghar ki izzat" daughters..I know we have come far from those days when girls were not allowed to study nor do anything of their on-free will..But it is really worrying to see parents who let their daughters go so far and suddenly want to go all traditional when it comes to marriage and even expect the daughters to do a complete U-turn from their beliefs and conform to whims and fancies of a stranger and his family..
It would be understatement if I would say A women's life is tough!! It was perhaps my naivety that I thought that girls were mented out an equal treatment in today's world..Have you ever imagined what a girl would feel like when she is made to believe that she is only the responsibility to her parents..??? Yes I have felt that feeling..:'( :'( And when she does get married , she is always the outsider in a husband's family..Is there nobody she can actually call her own..?????????? Somebody who would love her for her person and not just doll her up so that it would be easy to get rid of her , the burden that she is..?? For no reason they say "charity begins at home"
More than anger, I feel frustated, extremely saddened And lonely today!!
And perhaps that the reason why some people feel sad at birth of a daughter..Because they understand apart from fighting the demons of eve teasing , she will also have to face the trauma of being a burden on either her family or her husband..and she still feels she belongs to none in this world..
QUOTING a few lines from one of my favourite book "gone with wind"gifted by M that sum up what I feel about woman's life and apparently my own life..
"Her life was not easy, nor was she happy, but she didnot expect life to be easy and if it was not happy , that was a woman's lot..It was a man's world and she accepted it as much..The man owned the property and she managed it..The man took credit for the management and the woman praised his cleverness..The man roared like a bull when splinter was in his finger , and the woman muffled the moans of childbirth, lest she disturb him..Men were rude and outspoken, women were always kind, gracious and forgiving
1 comment:
last lines you wrote from a book gone wind wind is awesome..:) agree!!
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